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The Definitive Guide on Where to Meet Older Women

Excerpted and frequently updated from How to Meet & Date Older Women: The Manual by Patsy Mennuti, Hella Cougar. Photos by Marilyn Scavo.

Yes, older women are literally everywhere. But remember the Pool? You want older women who are available, who may be (might not know it yet) or definitely are interested in younger men. Here’s a list to get you going.

The gym, fitness classes, yoga, pilates and PICKLEBALL (better chance in the morning)

Grocery stores – your local ones and specialty places like Trader Joes, Whole Foods, Fresh Market

Retail stores – Walmart, Target, Big Lots, Dollar General, Home Goods, Bed Bath & Beyond

Dog park

Old person’s wine or cocktail bar in your town, happy hour at a hip restaurant ( 5 pm – 7 pm)

Resort pools / bars / CASINOS (think girls’ getaways)

Live music venues (attending or working as a bartender or bouncer)

Bars / clubs / speakeasys / pool halls / sports bars / karaoke bar

Dance venues and lessons (two-step, country line dancing, salsa, bachata)

Smoothie shop or health food places

Apps - Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OK Cupid, Match, Facebook Dating (more on this later). I would NOT use cougar dating sites (unless I come out with one).

Alternative lifestyle websites – Many may or may not include the husband and may or may not include things like cuckhold / hotwife / bull situations, etc. Examples include 3Fun, 3rdr, SLS, Feeld, Adult Friend Finder, Swing Lifestyle and Swap Finder.

Work (see section on “approach” for verrrry special considerations on this one)

Delivery (pizza, groceries), bartending and TaskRabbit (if you have actual handyman skills)

Weddings. Yes, weddings. The older co-worker, the fun aunt, family friends. Weddings can put people in some kind of mood.

Notice what I DID NOT mention here. P. M022 - DIN02222

Your mom’s friends, your friends’ moms

Your teachers / professors / therapist / coach

Your boss

In addition to MARRIED WOMEN, these categories are better left untouched. Does it happen? Absolutely. Does it carry the greatest risk of fall out that young men might not have the maturity, emotional intelligence or capacity to navigate? Hell to the yes. Think husbands, kids, friends, jobs, EVERYTHING at stake! Better to find someone legit available.

HOT TIP: Get into the habit of wearing or accessorizing with statement items that start conversations. Women notice these things! Examples include a cool pair of shoes, something vintage / retro that an older woman would appreciate, one of a kind tattoos, carrying an interesting bag, unique stickers or merch with fun sayings (including mine focused on a guy’s interest in older women – PUT IT OUT THERE!). In fact, guess who has an entire line for this purpose?!

Patsy Mennuti

Hella Cougar

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